Tag Archives: sports

Fanatics

I’m a sports fan not fanatic. What I mean by that is I don’t say things like ‘We won!’ or ‘We lost.’ or ‘We shouldn’t have bet the mortgage because we didn’t play very well.’ Whenever I hear someone say that I can’t help but to think, “What’s this we Kemosabe?”

I’m pretty sure the guy standing next to me who said that didn’t even get on the roster much less into the game. Hell, he’s sitting next to me so he didn’t even get a ticket. I understand it’s the global ‘we’ but, let me tell you, it sure seems some of those people have lost that part of the equation. By the spittle that accumulates at the corners of their mouths you’d think they’d suited up.

I tend to avoid those people.

But, no matter what, they’re always there.

Part of the job of a sports fan seems to be to whine. And the guy next to me took that to an art. In one stream of consciousness rant he covered the Red Sox slow start; the Bruins getting blown out of the playoffs; the Celtics losing a few late season games (even though they’d clinched the division – but don’t let facts get in the way of a good whine); and I don’t even want to get started on the Patriots and their season marred by Beligate, Tom’s dates, Randy Moss’ ex-date.

I’m listening and can’t help but to think about this past year for Boston sports fans. Let’s go to the big board, shall we? The Red Sox won the world series; the Patriots had an undefeated regular season and went to the super bowl; the Celtics are poised to bring glory back to their name; the Bruins and the Revolution made the playoffs; okay, so the Lobsters had a tough season but do you see my point? New England sports fans truly have little to whine about.

Yet, we do.

And my listening jar was just about filled to the brim.

“Hey!” I say to this guy who, if memory serves, wanted to rename Kenmore Square Ortiz Circle last year, but now wants him benched but would prefer if he were traded to the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters.

I have his attention so I want to tell him that it’s a long season. Many things can go right and wrong at any given moment. It’s that uncertainty that draws us to the spectacle and deepens our love of the team and sport. That, for the last few years, it’s been a marvel to be a Boston sports fan. But all that came out was,

“Stop your fucking whining! Boston backwards is not sob, you know!”

And I stood by those words. Especially when I realized my dyslexia was right so I got to do my touchdown dance right in his face! Take that, sports fan without odd disabilities!