. . .many of my friends are wise mouthed assholes.
No, really, they are. And to prove it here’s a situation.
I’m sitting there talking to a woman who suffers fools but only for the money. If you come at her with a stupid stick when shes not getting paid someone is going to get rabies.
This guy who fancies himself quite a catch. That’s why the fact that he’s rarely caught shows just how deluded he is about his general countenance.
“Hey,” he opens to crickets. “Who’s your friend?”
“No one who wants to talk to you.” I say trying to save his life. At least it seems like that. But he doesn’t believe me and continues.
“So, what do you do?”
She stares at him. Then she looks at me and rolls her eyes. I could make him go away. I could end this. But why should I have all the fun?
He chuckles as he forges forward.
“Where’d you go to school?”
Now she looks at me as if I invented this dolt. I know she’s thinking, ‘The last time someone asked me what school I went to was when I was in school.’ For some reason she answers him. It wasn’t a ‘I loved my college days!’ tone. It was a snarling ‘I can’t believe we’re breathing the same air.’ tone.
“USC!” He says with too much enthusiasm. At least for my friend and I. “The University of Southern California!” I could see a light in her eye flicker. Never a good sign.
“No, the university of sucking cock.”
At least he was smart enough to realize that he’d worn out his welcome.