How’s this pussification thing going, eh?

I glanced at the front page of the local paper and above the fold (where all the important news begins) is the headline:


What was the threat? A headphone wire was found hanging out of an ALF lunch box? Someone found a block of clay in an art class and thought it was C4? A carburetor was left on the ground in auto shop and caused a panic?

No. And it wasn’t even the old classic: a phone call. To quote the newspaper:

“Today at 10:17 a.m. two students discovered graffiti in the third floor boy’s bathroom. Lightly drawn in pencil were the words “bomb 12:00” with no other information.”

Really? We’re frightened of graffiti now? Not only graffiti but ‘lightly drawn in pencil’ graffiti. What kind of threat is that? Sorry, it can’t be a threat if you can use a pencil eraser to get rid of it. How serious was this kid about his plan? He didn’t even have the dedication to take along a Sharpie what’s the possibility he’d scour the world for bomb making components? Then learn how to make a damn bomb? Then make a bomb. Then carry it to school. Then find a place to put it so it wouldn’t be found so the janitor wouldn’t throw it away thinking it was some careless kids dropped art project? Trust me, I’ve met the kids of this community, they bitch if homework is too hard.

And why did he pick noon? Does he have an eating disorder and wanted to skip lunch?Now that’s something we should look into for the kid. Maybe it was sloppy joe day and even you can remember how revolting that shit was. Either way noon is stupid because kids aren’t doing anything at noon anyway so all you’re accomplishing is ruining lunch for kids without anorexia (I’s pretty sure ‘kids without anorexia’ is an extra curricular activity).

When I was in school bomb scares happened so often the entire class would groan. Not at getting out of class but at having to walk out of the building then stand in front of it. Where, and I’m no expert on building demolition, but I’d have to imagine if the building really did blow up the entire student body would be killed by falling bricks, gym teachers, and petri dishes. Most of us would have lived if we’d stayed in the building because we wouldn’t have been near the bomb. So thanks for putting us in harms way school administration.

If the amount of bomb scares we had was happening today that’s the only news the beleaguered reporters could have covered. In my day a bomb scare didn’t even make the school paper. We’d go home and get the, “How was your day?” And when we’d answer, “There was a bomb scare.” We’d get the automated, “That’s nice. Now go off to do your homework.”

Now I’m sure some parents call the kids shrink the moment they get the danger in the school call to see if they can be squeezed in to help them alleviate this trauma. Because of a kid who had lightly drawn in pencil the words ‘bomb 12:00’.

Now I’m not making light of violence in schools. I’m just saying the focus should be where it belongs. And it doesn’t belong on a knucklehead with a number 2 pencil. A search of school bombings in the United States gave me a total of six actual bombings. Whereas school shootings in the same country had it broken down by decades. But even with all of that I’m sure more kids have graduated high school without being able to read than have been shot.

So I guess I should be thankful the kid who lightly drew in pencil the words ‘bomb 12:00’ spelled it right.


One response to “Boom

  1. I think you mean ‘Bomb $1200’.

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