Just Your Normal Conversation

Sometimes I have to call deadbeats, I mean, customers who are in arrears with their payments. It’s a shitty thing to do for a living but so is putting the key in the deadbolt every day. The calls are mainly to let them know that if they don’t cough up some cash soon shit is going to get real.

It’s sort of a useless adventure. I know they’re lying to me (if I were to believe our customers they are patient zero for every malady known to man and chimp. They all have an average hospital stay of between six and twelve months. I recently had a woman come in telling me she disconnected herself from a dialysis machine and had her children break her out of the hospital to stand in front of me to plead her case. I’m not a medical professional but that seems a little off the mark) they know I know they’re lying to me but it’s a dance we must take.

I call a woman and a man answers, “Is Sue there?”

“Yeah.” He pauses. I can hear that he’s not making any movement to get her for me.

“Can I speak to her?”

“She’s busy right now sucking my dick. Can she call you back later?”

“That’s all right.” I respond. “I’ll hold. I’ve heard your quick.”

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3 responses to “Just Your Normal Conversation

  1. Love it! What would I not give to be able come off with that at such a moment.( excuse the pun)

  2. Not to take away from the guy who answered but I think his line was said by Danny DeVito in a movie some years ago. Yours was funnier anyway.

  3. I happened to stumble upon this blog and already I think I’m going to enjoy this. While not the exact same thing, I worked retail management for years so I know the perils of the privileged dumbasses.

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