Off The Rails

I was out and heard a phrase three times from three different people in a space of thirty minutes. When I heard it the third time it finally dawned on me why
I seem so different from the rest of humanity. In my life I have never said,

“I’m highly offended.”

When I heard it for the third time I knew it had to be that. I hear that phrase so often and can only deduce that is why so many people seem like such bland, face painted puppets.

Things ranging from something someone does or says, a picture or a concept, hell, I’ve heard people say they were highly offended by the way someone drove, can not only offend but highly offended them.

What makes that the go to emotion for people? Is it their sense of entitlement? Sense of anguish? Cause it sure as shit ain’t their sense of humor.

Whenever I’ve seen someone be highly offended they tend to be the same type of people. Burnished to a fine shine, highly opinionated yet vacuous in their
solutions, and loud and proud of their offended personality.

I know I’m generalizing here and am sure that will offended someone on the highest level and to that I say, go fuck yourself. Do you really think I care? I guess you do. Just like you think people care that you we’re highly offended because one judge totally underscored some ‘celebrity’ who was one week away from starting at Arby’s before they got that casting call.

The truth is being offended just means you’re weak. Most times when I find someone highly offended by something I’ve done (and trust me here, I offend people at the highest levels. Just a few posts ago I highly offended quite a number of people with my ‘Michael J. Fox Bobble Hand Doll’ idea) it’s because they are uncomfortable with the concept.

It could be a simple concept or complex. It could be something they love that someone else makes a joke about. We’ve become a society that will not tolerate a differing opinion. Be it something as trivial as a TV show or vast as the state of the world. If there is the smallest of division of thought the potential of someone being highly offended is enormous.

So stop being a pig faced troglodyte and letting every little thing set your asshole to pucker. There was a time when jesters were admired because they could
speak up and say what everyone else was thinking.

I remember the days when people didn’t threaten a boycott because someone dared utter a truth because they and a group of like minded people (you ever noticed it’s always the ‘like minded’ who threaten boycotts? You know why? Free thinking people have shit to do. Besides, who else would hang out with them?) didn’t like it. I remember when comedians weren’t used as fodder for newscasts because they’re afraid to cover actual news. But let Louis CK joke that he’d punch a baby in the face and it’s an hour long special and he loses a week at the Peoria Chuckle Hut.

Hey! News people! Look over here! There are a few of wars going on!

I have many friends and I disagree with many friends. And do you know what? I’d have it no other way. You know why? If I only hung out with people who only
had the same opinions and likes  as me I’d miss out finding out about so many other cool things. If you live with other mushrooms the world around you is a fungus.

Huh. I didn’t see this coming. That wasn’t funny much at all. Hmmmmmmm. I can’t let you people down. You don’t come here for meaningless diatribes from some yahoo. You have so many other options for that these days. Let’s see, I gotta close this out with a joke. Something for everyone! How’s that sound? Hmmm. Oh, good, got one.

A priest, a pedophile and a drunk were sitting in a boat. . .oh wait, wrong joke. That joke only has one guy.

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3 responses to “Off The Rails

  1. i’d be highly offended if i didn’t like this post so much

  2. Jeez, I guess my idea for a rotting Michael Jackson doll that molests your other dolls when you’re not home, would highly offend someone. Eh, scrap that patent application.

  3. Too many words/issues have become touchy subjects (speaking of Michael Jackson). it seems like out of the blue “politically correct” became a thing. It’s not like any of us is going to run for president, so I don’t know where the hell that came from. I hope that, the day someone tells me I offended them in some way and owe them an apology, I remember to tell them their existence offends me so they should go shoot themselves. (I’m losing more and more patience every day, so it shouldn’t be a long wait.)

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