Hair Club For Gentlemen

Parody lyrics to Stairway To Heaven

There’s a man who is sad cause he’s losing his hair
So he’s joining the hair club for gentlemen
When he gets there he knows if his credit is good
With a swipe he can get what he came for
Ooh, ohh now he’s joining the hair club for gentlemen

There a sign on the wall that they want you to see
There are no guarantees at the hair club
Take a seat in a nook, with some papers to sign
Sometimes all of your cash gets depleted

Ooh, a little peach fuzz
Ooh, a little peach fuzz

It could even get wet then I heard some regret
Many voices were crying for refunds
He was ready for that he said, ‘Oh look at these.’
But the voices were out there still calling

Ooh, a little peach fuzz
Ooh, a little tuft of peach fuzz

But he said that today, if I sign up by noon
Then he’d cut the price by twenty percent
Then my new hair will grow so lusciously long
Then the ladies will run so fast after

Ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh, ohh

If there’s a problem with your hair growth, don’t be alarmed now
It’s just some male pattern baldness
Yes, we can fix it it’ll take time, but in the long run
There’ll be hair that you can grow so long
So much more than peach fuzz

Grow, grow, grow, grow

My hair is growing and it won’t go, in case you’re worried
The hair clubs calling you to join him
Dear lady did you think we’d would forget you? Well that’s oh no
Your hair club waits on the mezzanine

But as it grows a little long
Excitement flew right from my soul
There was a baldy over there
Who wore white caps so not to show
Now everything has turned to gold
And if you pull it very hard
The hair won’t come out of my head
The hair is growing I’m not bald
To be a head that’s full of hair

So he’s joining the hair club for gentlemen

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