Complaint Box (AKA Shredder)

I know this’ll come as a shock, but, sometimes folks find me offensive. I know! ME! The nicest guy wearing my underwear! I usually answer them with something even more offensive just to prove them correct. That usually stops them from contacting me. I think the ending, “I’d quit while you’re ahead. It only gets worse from here.” has something to do with it.

There isn’t any complaint I haven’t heard or name I haven’t been called (which I always find funny coming from someone complaining about my use of language) but my favorite is when someone tells me they’re disappointed in me. It always comes from someone doesn’t know me. I find that funny. I got one of them yesterday and answered her with,

“I guess the world has devolved from ‘sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me.” to ‘sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will harm my self-esteem.’

It’s actually a good thing you found the offending bit because now you know where to avoid. As far as you demanding an apology or me to take down the offending statement, yeah, well, guess what? You’re going to be disappointed in me again. Ya gotta give me credit for consistency.”


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