I was. . .

. . .overlooking a dazzling vista.

That’s the good part.

The fact that someone else was there lessened my enjoyment.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ll look at nice places, people, and/or things any time. I’ll probably even enjoy it. I’m pretty simple when you get right down to it. There’s a good chance I’d even enjoy it with someone else.

But it all depends.

I take umbrage to a certain phrase. This phrase is uttered world wide, I’d have to assume. I’ve heard it in so many locales it often confuses me. How can so many places be this thing? You’d think something this special would be at least a little exclusive. But, no, I’ve heard it in an untold number of places and, honestly, some of them really wouldn’t have qualified if I had a vote.

It’s used primarily by people who grew up there (many, for whatever unearthly reason if this place is so special, have chosen to move away) but it’s also used often and obnoxiously by transplants or, sometimes, overwhelmed visitors.

And it bugs me. Not because I deny their right to say it. But because of their attitude. As if this is the only location in the world that deserves this designation. It’s the smugness in their tone when they spout it. It’s the look in their eyes as they wave their arms majestically to and fro pointing out what is obviously in front of us.

“This,” a man said bestowing his wisdom upon my dome. “Is god’s country.

Please note that I totally know what I’m doing when I do things like this. I am skilled, capable, and quite notoriously a major asshole. I know full well that if I go forward and say the words that are clanging around my vocal cords straining for life, the person who will hear them will most likely have a fierce hatred of me.

But you know me! I’m a risk taker!

“Why do you call it that? Because man hasn’t shown up yet to put in all the cool stuff like malls and bars and a few dunkin’ donuts?”

Let me tell you, it might be god’s country but they sure don’t have any compunction to taking his name in vain.

2 responses to “I was. . .

  1. can’t people just say “nice view”? i guess not…

  2. so much for a benevolent god, who apparently said Fuck you to places like Detroit.

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