We’ll Make It Legal

Have you (or, more likely, someone you know) ever done something stupid and were dying for an easy way out?

Fret no more, my little screw-up!

Let Bound & Gags take your blunders away:

http://home.comcast.net/~boundandgags/legalstup.htm

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7 responses to “We’ll Make It Legal

  1. If I accept this, how would I understand words like ‘gelogenic’? I’m so confused.

  2. Yea! Hate mail! It’s been a while, hasn’t it gang?

    Someone printed this out, put the name of someone in the proper location, and left it for them.

    The recipient got back to their desk, noticed it, then spent company time tracking me down to say,

    “Fuck you!!!!! Who the fuc k do you think you are calling me stupid? You don’t even fucking know me! What were you doing in my office? I’m calling the police to tell them you were trespassing. How did you get past reception? I’m going to talk to her supervisor. Then I’m going to call my lawyer because this is slander. Fuck you you stupid fucking asshole. You’ll be sorry you fucked with me!!!”

    I must be bored because I responded.

    Dear Sir and/or Madam:
    You are right, I do not fucking know you nor would I be so inclined to venture down that path. And that’s the only time you were correct.

    I didn’t fucking call you stupid but someone within close proximity did or, most likely, thought you’d find this trifling piece of comedy amusing. On second thought, I’ll retract the latter.

    I was not in nor hope ever to be in your office. I’m sure with your cute little gee-gaws and whimsical plastic palm tree to show people how ‘chill’ you are there’d be little room for a tete-a-tete anyway.

    So, due to that fact, you shouldn’t bother the local police or legal counsel with your complaint. All that would do is prove the certificate true and valid.

    As far as bringing your powerful wraith down upon the receptionist, please, she already thinks you’re a tool so it would be in your best interest if you didn’t give her any more ammunition. She can’t use all she has as it is.

    The piece of paper you’re waving wildly in your clammy and trembling hands is nothing more than a piece of comedy sent to you by someone who, I’m sure, is at this moment questioning why they’ve ever spoken to you in the first place.

    By the way, http://humorlesstightass.com/ is looking for a new spokesidiot, are you applying for the position?

    Go back to work and stop being such a fucktard!

    It’s weird how often I get shit through a third party. Someone will, for whatever reason, pass along something and next thing you know I’m the Charles Manson of comedy (I rarely do the killing but I am the mastermind!).

  3. Legalized stupidity?!? I’m afraid it will just be another open can of worms because the government will want to regulate it somehow, and tax it just like booze and marijuana. As nice as it would be to organize and keep track of all those individuals who would fall into a credibly stupid category and may require eventual licensure for their lack of grey matter, the federal government would have to get their piece of the pie, and the exorbitant financial costs coupled with the fact that most government employees would be the first to need said licenses and the inevitable mix-up that would occur when they try to regulate and license themselves. Well, need I explain further?

  4. I really should think things through.

  5. Becky brings up an excellent point. This needs further review. Committee should be formed, meeting is scheduled for Wed morning.

  6. So how was the meeting? Sorry I couldn’t be there I was drinki. . .ah, giving blood.

  7. I missed the meeting because I was too stupid to mark it on the calender in my office at my government job.

    And I’m dying to know, did you come up with anything smart?

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