People are often willing to give me unsolicited advice about my work. How I should be funnier, how I should write in different styles, different formats, things that would make me a better writer, you know, things people who’ve never written anything longer than a to do list are qualified to critique.

Most times (as hard as it may be to believe) I’m nice. They’re trying to help. Listening is free. But every once in a while someone just won’t stop. It’s always that person who has the most useless advice.

“You should write something like The Walking Dead meets The Office.”

He actually said that. My response was,

“It’s been done. It’s called A Day At The Registry of Motor Vehicles.”

Finally I had to shut him up. I needed to go so I figured I’d say something so convoluted he’d be forced to wander off to ponder (or get the fuck away from me. I didn’t really care at this point.).

“Your opinion is your opinion because it’s your opinion. Your opinion is not right just because it’s your opinion.”

Ah, I love the sound of a brain clicking shut.


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