Old Bit

I really thought I’d written this story. Maybe it’s one that’s in such bad taste I just do verbally.

The reason I bring it up is because I just found out what the movie was (I’d forgotten the name pretty much as soon as I started doing the bit).


I’ll get to the end.

At the end of the movie the theater manager says she’s sad to tell us the planned Q&A with the director will not take place. People in the theater groan. I don’t, I say, although I don’t think I did it loud enough to be heard by anyone other than who was next to me, turns out I was wrong, blasted good acoustics,

“Is that because she’s out fucking dead guys?”

Honest question. But the manager shot me a withering look. Okay, it made me laugh but it would have been frightening to a pomeranian. We’re told there will still be refreshments but we’re not interested in that. What we are interested in is getting rid of the refreshments we’ve already ingested.

I go directly into the men’s room while my date waits in line for the ladies room. I’m in mid piss when someone comes out of one of the stalls. Huh, I think, she’s tall. I finish and we start washing our hands. We start a conversation and says she’s amazed at my ease about this. She has no fucking idea.

We’re laughing and finishing up (washing our hands to dirty minded so and sos) when she says,

“You’re the guy who asked if she was fucking a dead guy.”

“I would be.” I said as I opened the door for her as we begin laughing. The moment we begin to step out of the men’s room we walk directly into the face of my date who nodded her head and said,

“Only you could go into men’s room alone and come out with a laughing girl.”

My toilet mate informed her that she was lucky to have such funny and cool guy.

As true as that may be, I knew that wasn’t exactly what my date was thinking.


3 responses to “Old Bit

  1. I wondered how you met your girlfriend. In the men’s room.

    I’d bet your date was thinking, “Why didn’t I think of that.”

  2. Come on! You’re seen her! She’s not tall. No way she could have been that toilet girl!

    You’d think, huh? But she stayed in line snarling at me. I guess her pissedness outweighed her pissness.

  3. All good stories have some ‘bathroom’ in them.

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