Monthly Archives: May 2012

We’re at a restaurant. . .

. . .that needs a name to call you when you’re table is ready. I tell the hostess there are two parties. She says that’s fine. I give her the two names and go to the bar to be called. After a short time she calls our party.

“Adcock-Slater party. Adcock-Slater.”

Yes, I know I am juvenile so I don’t need to be reminded.

How come. . .

. . .anyone who says, “I don’t want any drama!” says it so dramatically?

Do you know. . .

. . .what’s more distracting than a hip, happening 60+ year old guy rocking an ear ring? A hip, happening 60+ year old guy rocking an ear ring surrounded by ear hair.


Two days in a row for way too early conversations.

“If you don’t do this for me I’ll put a curse on you.”

“Ma’am, I’m married. Someone beat you to it.”

Is it too early to say this to someone?

“Please. Stop talking because your words are like vomit in my ears.”

I think it is.

You know what you never see?

A suicide wearing a Hawaiian shirt.