What’s that old joke about where you can find sympathy?

Cause I’m pretty sure it’s not going to be between Chris and Zell.

A guy I know is complaining because his wife (a wife, I will mention, he would bitch about every time I’d see him) left him. Can you believe it? She left this grunting, bitching, simp of a man. I’m not even making fun of him. The longest continuous sentence I’ve ever heard him utter had six words in it and three of them were ‘umm’ ‘ah’ and ‘like’.

There’s nothing unique about his diatribe. We’ve all had to bear with someone like this. He’s not a friend, just someone who would be considered an acquaintance if you gave even the slightest shit about the outcome of his drop down life.

The thing about guys like this is, sooner than later, a flip will switch and he’ll bring on the bluster. He’ll start ranting that this is the best thing that’s happened since that, ah, time he, urr, found that, like, thing he, umm, was psyched to find!

He’s gonna get the babes! He’s gonna get the chicks! He’s gonna get all the strange that’s just been waiting for him since the day he started wasting his life. AKA, wedding day.

“Yeah,” I say noncommittally. “I bet you’re going to be getting a ton of that hot none on none action.”

4 responses to “Sympathy

  1. “None on none action” … that’s really saying Something!!!!

  2. just let it go Chris..its Chinatown…

  3. “…drop down life…” I know some people like that.

  4. Ah, that’s a little excessive, don’t you think?

    Still, I know the type. And I dislike it. Because I’m jealous of quiet guys like that–“strong silent” bullshitters are the luckiest with women. Women assume they’re nice because they say so little–it takes them months, even years being with such men to find out they’re the biggest assholes of all! Meanwhile, men like me who me who can’t bullshit, yet enjoy talking–especially about abstract things–scare the hell out of women!

    But look who’s bitching now!

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