Contractor of the Year

A blustery guy was trying to impress me with his brilliance but he seemed to mangle his statements. I’m not exactly sure what he was saying but everything sort of came out sounding like,

“It’s like having a furnace on your roof. It ain’t gonna stop the cows from shitting.”

Although that is a fact I’m not sure it’s approved for human thought.

Out of nowhere he says,

“And I should know. I was contractor of the year, you know.”

As a matter of fact, I did not know that. But, I could tell he was willing to wait all day for me to praise him for that designation. And you know me, I’m a giver!

“Wow. That’s impressive. So, how many STDs did you get?”

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