As some of you know, I have a checkered past with karaoke. I feel it was created as payback for Nagasaki and Hiroshima. I feel many people take it way too seriously*. I feel it is ripe for comedy**.
* We were in a parking lot getting out of the car to go into a restaurant. While waiting for my girlfriend I looked around and noticed this gentleman in a vehicle. He seemed to be having an argument with himself. Or singing. I was hoping for the latter but the moment I saw his license plate I now only knew he was singing but what it was.
I tell my girlfriend the restaurant may be having karaoke and, while passing the singing mans car, told her he was going to sing and what he was going to sing. She asked me how I could be so sure. I pointed to his license plate which read ROBOTO.
Which, near the end of our meal, he did indeed sing.
** I wrote and directed a show called Kouch Karaoke. This is a shitty video of it. The history of the show is on the site not that you’re interested.
I also don’t care that it exists. People strap electrical wires to their genitalia. So, in the scheme of things, karaoke is a somewhat less intrusive pastime.
What I get agitated about is when someone has to badger you regarding their performance. Trust me, you did fine. Even if you didn’t, you did. Let’s be honest, the bar is set very low and the grading curve is flatter than Paris Hilton’s CD sales.
But for some reason some people have to keep asking how good they did. Yes, I know, you’re still stoked from your thrilling rendition of ‘All Summer Long’ and want the feeling to last. But, trust me, it was the best of the four I’ve heard tonight.
Even if it wasn’t.
Do you get a clue of any pattern here? There are a few friends, my girlfriend included, who I’ll critique seriously, but, for the most part, unless pushed, you did just fine.
But some people just don’t get it. Well, until I’m fed up.
“So, really, you won’t hurt my feelings. How was it?” This guy rephrases his question for the fifth time about his unique version of ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ and I was done talking about it. “I want to know what you think.”
“I think it sucked so badly I’m going to kill Van Morrison so he can commence spinning in his grave.”
Boy, some people can’t take constructive criticism.