Monday Music

What is that you are saying? I’m stealing someone’s idea? Huh. Interesting you’d think that because of course I’m stealing someone’s idea! How do you think I’ve got this far in life? By thinking up my own stuff?

Silly people.

Yes, yes, I’m stealing the Monday Music idea from the great and non-litigious Taoist Biker. But, as you’d expect, I’m changing it around, giving it a little B&G spin, if you will.

Whereas TB carefully chooses his songs and has interesting tales about the tune, an idea popped into my head and I’m plopping a brain dropping on ya. Whereas TB scours the intertubularweb to find just the perfect rendition of the song, I took the first link I saw so don’t even know if it’s in English. Whereas TB let’s the music do the talking, I had to fuck it up with my own words.

A song came on the radio Friday and, although I’ve probably heard this trifle sixty-four billion times, it was the first time I thought, “Hey! What if I wrote the lyrics like this?” So, that’s what I did.

I took The Cure’s ‘It’s Friday, I’m In Love’

and made it ‘It’s Monday, I’m In Hell.’

I thought I could have made it funnier but it took a dark turn late. But what do you expect? I’m working from a blueprint set up by the king of mope?

In two days my rent is due
I’m not sure I can come through
My landlord’s such a fucking shrew
It’s Monday, I’m in hell

My transmission fell apart
Now my car will never start
Why’d I buy this dumb Dodge Dart?
It’s Monday, I’m in hell

Should I pray? Wait
It’s so hard to trust in fate
That way hasn’t been too great

I just got the fucking sack
Wife freaked out she said to pack
Slammed the doors screamed don’t come back
It’s Monday, I’m in hell

My life’s full of blackened dread
I should have just stayed in bed
Oh what day will I drop dead?
It’s Monday, I’m in hell

Should I pray? Wait
It’s so hard to trust in fate
That way hasn’t been too great

Kiss my ass good bye
I can’t wait for my demise
There’s nothing that I don’t despise
Hate that I’m around
That I am still above ground
It’s a bleak losing streak
Hard to be around
Where is deaths stinging bite?
When will it take my sight?
I smell defeat in the middle of the night
It can’t take me quick enough
Enough of this stuff
It’s Monday, I’m in hell

In two days my rent is due
I’m not sure I can come through
My landlord’s such a fucking shrew
It’s Monday, I’m in hell

My transmission fell apart
Now my car will never start
Why’d I buy this dumb Dodge Dart?
It’s Monday, I’m in hell

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3 responses to “Monday Music

  1. Dude, I’d buy that fucking single.

  2. You could do one of these for each day of the week…Tuesday and Thursday always get left out…

  3. Oooh, I stopped reading once I hit play Chris! Love this song, love it, love it!

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