Mixed Emotions

I’m loping up the hill mere steps from locking myself in the house and hiding for the next twelve hours from as much humanity as possible. I step onto the property when a neighbor pulls into his driveway. We chat for a few moments while watching his very excited puppy bound in joy at the door.

“He sure can’t wait to see you.” I say to his obvious glee.

We say our goodbyes head to our abodes. He opens the door and I’m assuming happiness ensued. I don’t know exactly because I was back to head down, eyes on the prize mode.

“He’s not happy to see me.” I hear. I turn and racing toward me is his dog. A very cute, lovable little snot. I lean down to pet him about the head and shoulders. His owner starts over saying, “Not a bad way to come home, is it?”

It was very pleasant. Having something so happy to see you after a day filled with dodos. My neighbor’s approaching while I’m petting the dog to distract it from it’s doggy ADD. He’s in a state of enjoyment and rolls onto his back. And here is when my emotions became mixed.

Because he was sporting a boner.

I can honestly say, I never expected to be greeted in such a manner. Ever.

I will also say this story did not have a happy ending. For anyone.


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