The guy said in a convincing manner.
In my continuing saga of ‘People I Really Should Stay Away From But, Sadly, Can’t Because It’s My Job’ I had the pleasure of having a gentleman tell me what a hard ass he is.
I know he’s stupid. I know he’s a big mouth. I know he doesn’t have the sense he had as a zygote. I know he’s such a stupid, senseless, big mouth he once robbed a convenience store with a screwdriver. There is a possibility he could have pulled off this crime if he hadn’t picked a convenience store around the corner from his house. He hadn’t even opened one of the packs of cigarettes from his bounty by the time the cops came a knocking.
But this time, out of the many times we’ve spoken, for whatever reason, he wanted to impress upon me that he was a bad, bad man.
Fine. I believe you. Now go.
But that wasn’t enough. Obviously.
He kept telling me just how bad a dude he is.
“I crack skulls, you know.”
“Yes,” I say agreeing. “You’re such a tough guy your cereal says, snap, crack, and pop a cap in your ass.”