I was at a fundraiser where a few comics were scheduled. I was just popping in to help out a friend. I doubted I was even going to stick around for the comedians. I had a deadline to write some monologue jokes so really was pressed for time.
I’m standing at the bar (always time for that!) when someone comes up behind me and slaps me on the back. It was a guy I knew but probably haven’t seen in double the amount of time we were acquainted. He’s an and I wrote some jokes for his fledgling stand up career. I was glad to see he was still doing it.
I was a little surprised to hear he was using pretty much the same twenty minutes we’d created. He always had trouble writing. He said he’s written bits but if they don’t get laughs right off he loses confidence and dumps them. But, he’s likes doing it a few times a month, makes some extra cash, makes people laugh so good on him.
“Do you have anything I could use? I mean, even for tonight.”
I really didn’t and didn’t really want to put any effort into it. It’s not that I minded doing it, it’s just that I didn’t have anything. I didn’t know the guy the fundraiser was for (I’m friends of the guy running it) and knowing it’s a clean night I couldn’t give him any Tiger Woods jokes I’d already written for the monologue.
Then it hit me.
Okay, hit is kind of strong. Slightly touched is much better. But, knowing this guy, it would be a good fit. We scurried around looking for something to smear on his face and some towels. Everything came together so we went to work.
We smeared a little blue, easily removable substance (I don’t know what it was. We got it from his wife) on his face and coated a hand towel with it. When his name was called he walked through the crowd wiping the crap off his face. Everyone’s staring at him as if he was just face deep in Hooker Smurf as he nears the stage.
He stands up there for a few seconds, still wiping. When he thinks he has everything off he says,
“Hi. Sorry about that. They didn’t tell me until the last second I couldn’t work blue.”