Just Random

I was watching the movie, Milk and saw this credit:

Brian Yates Sharber – Gay Man

How could they pick him out?

I visited a friend in the hospital. Nothing serious but I get there and he’s whining,

“I don’t know if I can go on living.”

It’s just a broken clavicle you fucking pussy. Alright, he’s feeling bad. I’ll give up a human moment and shore him up a little.

Okay, enough. You’re getting out tomorrow. Stop the fucking whining. I doubt anyone’s ever died from a broken clavicle. But, from his lack of will to live, you’d think it was a telethon worthy killer.

“I just don’t think I can go on.” He says again.

So I lean over to the next bed, grab a pillow, stand up while fluffing the pillow, then lean in placing the pillow near his face.

“Okay. This’ll only take a minute.”

He freaks out.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

I toss the pillow on the other bed.

“Your will to live’s back. Guess I cured ya.”

I see a customer with his family at a restaurant. The next day he comes into work. He’s telling me he’s late with payments because he’s been out of the country for the three months.

“As a matter of fact, I’m coming here directly from the airport.”

Hmmmm. Okay, this seems like a lie. Maybe he thinks that’ll be more dramatic. You know how people sometimes say they just got back for days after a trip? Maybe he’s one of those.

“Really?” I ask. “How long have you been back?”

He looks at his watch.

“Less than an hour. I was in Germany for three months.”

“Really?” I don’t doubt myself. I know I saw him, in America, the night before. “Where were you? Friends of mine live in Fuckinglair.”

“No, I ah, didn’t get there. I was mainly in Dusseldorf.”

“You must have been there. Fuckingliar’s right between Dusseldorf and Assenholen.”

“Ah, well, I did do some drinking there so, you never know.”

“Trust me, I know.”


2 responses to “Just Random

  1. “Assenholen”??? BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAA.

  2. Okay, I’m on my knees in the hope that you actually said such a thing. Also, could you come to my house with a fucking pillow?

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