The door opens and a man, a grown man, walks in.
“Can you come outside to give me a hand?”
I do not know the guy but he seems nice. So I am leery off the bat. But, I follow my instincts and go. I mean, it can’t be worse than earlier this week when a guy walked in asking if I could throw something away for him.
It was a dead frog.
So I step outside and the guy is joyous. Oh oh. People carrying dead animals? Prepared for. Happy people? Uncharted territory.
As I walk past him to get a little distance between us he reaches out and hands me his phone. Does he want me to give someone directions? Does he want me to give someone information? Am I being recruited into some weird phone sex ring?
“Can you take my picture?”
Very weird phone sex ring.
I’m still looking at him hoping, wishing, dreaming he’d give me a clue as to what the fuck is going on. I watch him stand in front of our door. He’s straightening himself out to make it the best picture a Samsung Shitty Shot can take. Satisfied, he says,
“Make sure you get the address sign.”
I frame him and the sign in the low resolution Shitty Shot screen and click off a shot.
I wait while he poses again. This time a surprised expression crosses his face as he points at the address. Silently, I snap off another shot.
“Thanks.” He says bounding toward me. I hand him the camera. “This is great. This is awesome. A great day, let me tell you.” I nod, again in silence, and begin to step around him.
But I can’t do it. I can’t leave just yet so I turn around, look at his glowing face and say,
“What the fuck are you doing?”
At first he’s startled. Then I see it slowly dawn over his face.
“Oh yeah, you don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Even worse, what I’m doing.”
Now he seems a little sheepish. He closes his camera, protecting his newly prized pictures, and says,
“The street name is my name.”
What do you say to that? To a man, a grown man, who can become so excited he’d pull his vehicle into a parking lot to get a photo op with an address sign like it’s a copyrighted cartoon character?
“Would you like to visit our gift shop?”