1. a written account of another person’s life.
I just wanted to start with everyone on the same page.
If you’ve passed here before you’re aware that I’m a whore. I’m usually clothed when I whore but I often feel just as dirty when it’s over.
Being a whore I take many calls about my endeavor. Some are pleasant and pass quickly (“Chris, I need jokes about [fill in topical event].”). Others are ugly and never get a groove on (“Chris, what I’m looking for is a singing/dancing sword and scorcerer script with a time travel hook.”). Then there are some who shouldn’t have pulled up to the curb.
And here is just one of those conversations.
“So, ah, Chris, if I hire you to write my biography, would I have to tell you about myself?”
“That’s the proceedure.”
“I’m not comfortable with that. Wouldn’t it be just as good if you followed me around and wrote what you saw?”
“Yeah, if I started from the moment you fell out of your mother’s pussy.”