Toys

I’m outside of the coffee shop talking with a gentleman while his kid stands there quietly. After the Monday snow storm we had people are in a pretty good mood to have a day that clear and 44 degrees. That’s how low this winter has beat out standards.

He tells me that K-Fed is going on tour with Britney and getting five grand a week to watch their kids.

“Five grand! To watch his own damn kids! That’s not right!”

“Shit, I’d go on a baby killing tour for five k a week.”

I know what you’re saying, ‘Hey, idiot! Why would we want to hear about that? It sounds, and I don’t want to say it, normal.’ And you’re right. Impatient, but right.

I’m near the end of the transaction when his kid holds up his Mr. Potato Head, asks if, when I was a kid, I had a Mr. Potato Head.

“Nope,” I began. “I had a Mr. Potato Salad.”

The kids looking at me like the idiot I am when, about ten feet in front of us, a guy steps away from a vehicle he was talking into and the car pulls away. It’s not even ten feet away when he yells,

“Hey! Get back here!”

The car stops. Feeling as if his will has been followed he begins to walk toward the car as it shifts into reverse and knocks him down.

During his protests (“What the fuck are you doing you crazy bitch!?!? was one of them as he dusted off the seat of his pants) I shake the guy’s hand who I’ve been talking to, shake the kids head, and say,

“Love is in the air and it’s crashing to the ground.”

I walk past the car as the guy gets in screaming as she pulls the car around and through the parking lot.

Gotta love young love.

3 responses to “Toys

  1. Got a nice chuckle outa this one CZ. Thanks!

    And dude. Of COURSE you had a Mr. Potato Head! Or were you the Mrs. Potato Head kid?

  2. Wow, 5 grand? Just to watch their kids? That’s a lot of money!

  3. A friend of mine bought the penis version of Mr Potato Head for another friend of ours who was getting married. She made me go to the “Dirty Store” with her to get it, which was very embarassing for me, but it was so worth it to embarass all the mothers at the bridal shower!!

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