If I haven’t mentioned it before it’s probably because I didn’t mention it, but, I truly don’t care about your political affiliation. I don’t care about your theories or sexual peccadilloes either but none of those things seem to deter people from getting on their pews to spew.
The door opens and a guy comes in. As you’ve no doubt found, that usually signals the start of a bad moment in my life. Not that this was notoriously bad, he’s a nice guy, but he’s so laser dot specific in his denouement as to render him effectively boring.
He is not a liker of the current president. He wasn’t a liker of him when he was a senator of a state he’s not from either. I’m sure if he knew he lived in Somerville when he went to college around here he wouldn’t be a liker of that either.
After his usual rant about congressman Barney Frank (who, I never bother explaining, isn’t even his congressman) I settle in to the damage Obama has done to this country in his first twenty six days.
“Can you believe how far the stock market has dropped since he got in?”
“Do you know how many jobs have been lost since he got in?”
“Have you noticed gas has gone up since he got in?”
I’m sure he had something to say about it being Obama’s fault for the shitty super bowl commercials this year but, as you’ve no doubt noticed if you’ve been hanging around here for any length of time, I’d lost the ability to listen quite some time ago.
“I’m telling ya, he’s the worst president I’ve ever seen.”
I’m too well trained to bite as the badinage grows ingravescent but I also know I can’t allow it to go much further (due to my fear of actually being bored to death). I smile and try to assuage his frazzled mind.
“Relax,” I implore him. “You’ve just got a touch of baracknophobia.”