You be the judge:
[Dr. Cox]Bastards. Bastard covered bastards with bastard filling.[/Cox]
Damn cats! Definitely Bastards!
They are bastards who bully everyone!
I can’t decide because the gosh darn cuteness trumps the bastardicity-ness-itude.
You know what I mean?
That cute thing they do is all just an act.
Did you have a bad experience with a cat, Becky? I sense some hostility. I’m the one who should be hostile. I’ve had some interesting cat situations.
When I was a kid we had an evil cat. It used to hide and attack at you walked past. The breaking point for my Mother was when I was sitting on the floor watching TV and the cat jumped on my head and scratched the shit out of my face and head. I looked like a failed attempt at blending a Zell frappe.
Later she said I looked funny running around the living room punching at my head.
Another time wasn’t bad but it was gross. We had a pregnant cat who has a pregnant cat box in a pregnant cat place. I didn’t pay much attention to this cat. I was out all the time.
But, for whatever reason, when show time came she decided to jump into my bed. She was next to me, I woke and started petting her, I know you can imagine my surprise when I reached out and started petting ‘The Cat Who Wouldn’t End!’
There was cat and shit and sticky everywhere. She’d even popped out one of this bastard covered bastards with bastard filling on my chest.
I carefully removed chest cat, carefully removed my self and went to the bathroom. I had to shower and change. After that I went into my Mother’s room and said,
“Ma! Where am I gonna sleep?”
Being someone who had an answer for everything she said,
“In you bed! Where do you sleep every night? Now go back to bed” During this time I was a sleepwalker and would do odd things (one time I got a knife out of a drawer. She asked what I was going to do with it and I said, “Cut something.” She told me to put it back and I did. To this day I wonder what I was going to cut) so she wasn’t ready for what was next.
“Can’t. Bugger had the cats in my bed.”
To show what type of person I really am, when everyone got up to look at and whatever else they did, I found an empty bed and went back to sleep.
So, Beckers, as you can see, I’ve had more blood taken from and placed on me from cats than Carrie at the prom.
And I still like to pat their cute and fuzzy heads.
Even if I do agree with you that the cute thing is an act. I also believe they’re stealing from me but that’s a whole ‘nother issue.
That is a gross and demented story. But it has the ring of truth. Amazing!
Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:
You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out / Change )
You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out / Change )
You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out / Change )
You are commenting using your Google+ account. ( Log Out / Change )
Connecting to %s
Notify me of new comments via email.