No Animals

We had to put up ‘No Dogs In Buildings’ signs for obvious and, trust me, not so obvious reasons. Someone comes in, sees the sign, and says,

“I think I brought my ferret in here once. But he was well-behaved. Like a dog.”

Here I think, ‘like a dog that has been banned from here?’ But let her continue.

She tells me stories about her ferret and ends with one that has to do with a cemetery. Not a ferret cemetery, the human kind. She took the ferret there so it could run around on the grass. Suddenly, she lost sight of it. Well, lost sight of everything but it’s tail. Whoops! Just lost sight of that. It had burrowed (I know! Who knew ferrets burrowed!) into a hole near a grave.

After reaching down the hole to no avail, she began wailing and pounding on the grave like a bereaved soul. Except, instead of screaming out the name of the dearly departed, she was screaming,

“Snooksie! Snooksie! Snooksie!” Over and over again.

Finally, after three hours, the ferret popped back from beyond.

I’m going to have to discuss a ‘No Ferret Owner’ sign on the building with my boss.

7 responses to “No Animals

  1. Perhaps a “No Stupidity” sign would cover more bases…

  2. One should be smarter than one’s pets (or kids, for that matter); and it is always such a letdown to realize that most people who have pets (or kids, for that matter) aren’t.

  3. I’ve mentioned the ‘No Stupidity’ sign many times but my boss said we’d end up with no customers.

    This is actually a special bit because it’s this woman’s second appearance – http://tinyurl.com/5vf5rq – as a character.

    There are some other things she’s done (got her purse stuck on a doorknob and almost knocked herself loopy when she got yanked backwards, got lost and roamed way away from her sector. I know that because we watched her on the monitors. When she finally got to the exit she was quite flustered. Trust me, the hallways are straight and easy to maneuver) but there’s only so many times you can use one person.

  4. Oh my god, ferrets burrow? Ugh, how vile yet fascinating. We owned a ferret for a half hour once. Long story ending with our German Shepherd and three crying children. Did you know ferrets smell? They stink! Reall bad! I didn’t know that until we bought it, but like I said, we only owned it for a half hour. This sounds awful of me but…when the smell was gone I wasn’t all that sad. I was relieved, but in a stomach-sickening way.

  5. Yes, they smell. A friend had two. That didn’t make it any better.

  6. Can you imagine how funny it would have been to stumble upon the woman at the grave crying hysterically for here dear Snooksie?

  7. No, YOU smell; ferrets stink!

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