Box People

“Do your boxes come empty?”

“Yes.” I know you’re wondering why my reaction was so, what’s the word? Nice. Well, I’m used to it. It’s not the first time I’ve heard this question. “That’s why people buy them, to fill them themselves.”

“Good, good. That’s how I want it.”

After a few minutes (a few minutes! We carry five boxes, three of which are of any use to her) she decides on the box. I gather it, place it near the door as she says,

“It’s flat! It’s so flat! How am I going to fit anything in there?”

I open the box and show her that it grows.

I hope you don’t figure this helped matters. Good.

“It has no bottom! How am I going to use a box with no bottom! You don’t know what you’re doing! I’m going to take my business elsewhere!”

Funny how she can’t figure out a box but she knows enough to tell me she’s taking her business elsewhere.


6 responses to “Box People

  1. I have a box for her! I’d even throw in a free Sharpie so she and her family could customize it themselves. Possibly at the wake.

  2. Ugh. How do you keep from slapping these people?

  3. Restraints.

    Restraint! I meant restraint. I’m not too good with words.

    > I have a box for her! I’d even throw in a free
    > Sharpie so she and her family could customize
    > it themselves. Possibly at the wake.
    Oh man, TB, that’s awesome. It would be great to read the names of all her loved ones scrawled across the casket. The close ones like, X and X and X and Buford (he’s the smart one, he got to the third grade). It’d bring tears, I tell ya!

    We went to a local fair and I swear this is the petri dish they’re made from. But, I had fun because how many times can a person say that, in the space of a couple of hours, he was bitten by a turkey, a llama, heckled by a clown AND got to blame a stink on a skunk?

    Yeah, a magical day indeed.

    The animal bites were nothing. I didn’t engage the clown (he was 50 feet from me and had a mic). So I guess that leaves the skunk story.

    We were petting a skunk and just as the guy said that, although they destink them, they still carry a scent. Right then, I guess I figured it was an awesome time to do it, so I farted. Silently which made it even better when a woman said,

    “Oh, yeah, I can smell the skunk now.”

    I held the laughs on the inside (karate farters laugh on the inside), pet the skunk one more time and left.

  4. HAHAHAHA!!! Nothing like a well-timed stealthfart.

    Fun little post B&G, thanks dude. You really went “outside the box”. Sorry. Had to.

    @Taoistbiker- way cool on the cardboard coffin!

  5. Thank God you didn’t offer her Styrofoam peanuts. She probably would have bitched that they weren’t salted.

  6. Why that’s just wrong: boxes without bottoms. Indecent!

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