I’ve seen a lot of weird things but this time I’m only going to talk about vehicular weird things. But not your average weird things like eating and texting while driving, leaning your seat back far enough while driving so you can watch the DVD, or even the woman in a wedding dress hanging halfway out of the vehicle screaming,

“Fuck you, you fucking asshole!”

At a car that may or may not have done something to snap her out of her newly wedded bliss.

I’m talking things that I, a grizzled veteran, even had to go,

“Oh, wait, no.”

Like a guy in an SUV walking his dog.

Or the guy slowly driving down a side street kneeling on the drivers seat pissing out the window.

Then there’s the woman who didn’t pull up to the drive-thru teller close enough so threw her handful of change toward the money intake. Mostly she missed.

Why I bring up those vignettes, which have been sitting in files for years with no place to go, is because today, parked in the middle of a tree-lined, suburban street was a four or maybe even five year old kid sitting on a big wheel yelling into a cellphone.

I guess there’s stress when your job is playing too.

It did make me think of a greeting card:

That image on the front with the tag:
“Sorry I haven’t called.”

“Now that I’m a big wheel I’ve lost track of time.”

Not great but thinking random thoughts gives me something to do while I keep passing the open windows. While watching out for urine, dogs, and random brides.


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