Have you ever had a day when, for whatever reason, it feels as if your senses are overloaded? And I’m not talking in the good chocolate cake, sunset, pants tight so you get a little tingle down there senses.
A customer comes in and he’s a smarmy guy who has to pull something over on everyone or he feels unfulfilled. Like infomercial stars (I saw that headline recently and laughed) updating their snake oil sales pitch one paid programming time slot at a time.
He’s relentless in his bid to get me to jump at his opportunities. It could be a ‘power’ snack that’ll give me more energy than I’ll need. I don’t know about you but I like being tired. Makes me feel more American.
Or an item that’s ‘hot’ but not in the ‘stolen’ way. I’d be more reassured if he’d made the effort to take the ‘security’ tag off.
Today’s effort was memorable due to it’s complexity and mephitic properties. To say he smelled like the underside of a burrow’s nut sack would be spot on.
The thing is, sans smell, this ponzi scheme was similar to one he tried three months ago. He wanted to pay half his rate this month, full amount the next and then another half which would catch up with his past due. No joke. That’s a real one. And people wonder why I’m a bundle of ticks. It’s my bodies frustration due to the current murder laws.
He also wanted me to put him down for referrals. He said he’d kick me 10% of the bounty. And he sold it as if it were a golden urinal. He couldn’t believe when I declined the fresh new three dollar bills he offered as a show of good faith.
“Listen,” I said wiping my stench burned eyes. “Let’s not play this game anymore. Frankly, I’m fucking sick of it and tired of you wasting my time.”
He was thoroughly offended. He said the offer was beneficial to both parties. I told him I had other things to take care of, I’ve heard all his scams before so he should leave because,
“All I’m getting is a strong sense of deja screw.”