Steroids

Because I was a pro tennis player sometimes friends want me to talk to their kids about how much work you have to put into it and the possibility you’ll actually make it in any sport as a pro.

This kid was unimpressed with my talk. I watched him play his chosen sport (baseball) and talked to his coach. We were both under the impression that, at best, he’d be a minor league lifer but could get a good college education. You’d be surprised how often a free or pretty free college ride isn’t good enough. Many people don’t see the step all they see is the staircase.

He had good stuff (I caught him for a few minutes) but nothing special. He also didn’t put the time in. The kid had this idea that steroids may be a quick fix. I said he’d be better off not starting because 1) it’s illegal 2) won’t help him go pro 3) all he’d get out of it was back acne and baby balls.

Which, I had to point out, although not things you really want, Back Acne & Baby Balls would be a great name for a band.

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10 responses to “Steroids

  1. damn how old was he? Kids are retarded. Back acne and baby balls, that’d make a good name for a guitar and drum two piece. Speaking of seeing other things that make great band names, I passed a road the other day called Swamp Angel, isn’t that awesome?

  2. Going into his senior year. It’s a generation of the quick fix. If they can’t press Red + Yellow, [Green + Red] two times, [Red + Yellow] two times, Green + Red, [Red + Yellow] two times, [Green + Red] two times, [Red + Yellow] two times, Green + Red, Red + Yellow, Red + Blue to unlock the secret they don’t want to do it.

    Swamp Angel is a great name.

  3. Actually, it sounds more like a meal.

    “What are we having for dinner tonight, hon?”

    “Oh, I thought I’d whip up some back acne and baby balls.”

  4. Oooooohhh! Gross!

    Although the baby balls would be bite-sized…

  5. Swamp Angel is awesome. Back Acne & Baby Balls not so much.

  6. Acne vulgaris and atrophied testicles–and single too, because what woman will want be with that?!?

  7. @ Becky – Madonna. It would make excellent press.

  8. Well, yeah. Because it’s hot.

  9. Overheard at the supermarket:

    “Look dear, here’s that new ‘Back-Acne Helper’ that you said looked good on TV last night. Shall we pick some up for Friday night when we’re having company?”

    “Only if we also get some fresh baby balls to go with it!”

  10. I think I’ve been over that couples house.

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