I was talking to a guy who seemed okay at first but I could tell he was just another one in a long line of strange ass customers this bar attracts. The conversation took a weird turn when piercing came up.
I had a girlfriend who kept bothering me to pierce my nipple. I relented after months of constant conversation. When I told her she won, I’m giving in, she changed her mind.
Well, fuck her! No one badgers me for months and not get what they want whether they want it or not! When I got it she flipped out and wouldn’t come near me. So, there ya go! Another victory for the Zell boy!
Years later another girlfriend didn’t like it so I took it out.
But, while talking to this guy, I still had it. So we talked about it and he told me his penis was pierced. I told him that was great. For him. Then began talking to someone else. I wasn’t being rude. I figured once the topic of conversation gets to another guys dick, well, we’re pretty much at the end of the festivities.
I’m chatting with my friend and the guy taps me on the shoulder. And points to his now exposed, and quite heavily pierced, member of the ‘you shoulda stayed in your pants while in public’ brigade.
I said it was nice and went back to my beer.
I told my girlfriend about it and she laughed. A few weeks later we were there and, hey, lookie there! It’s him. I pointed that out and my girlfriend said she wanted to talk to him. I call him over and we begin a chat.
In no time at all, my girlfriends curiosity gets the best of her and paraphrases Cleavon Little in Blazing Saddles,
‘Excuse me, will you whip this out?’
He looked at me, asked me if he could and to make sure my buddy (a large guy I’m usually found in this establishment with) and I weren’t going to kill him. I said he was safe and, right there at the table, a gleaming piece of work saw the grime of day once more.
My girlfriend, once the show was over, asked the guy, in all seriousness, why. He’s zipping up, shrugs his shoulders and says,
“I have pretty low self-esteem.”