We were at the house of someone who has little kids. The boy is asking me the names of our cats (for the zillionth time) then what they’re doing (for only the billionth time). I’ve answered with things like,

“Dunno. Haven’t seen them in a day.”

“Probably sleeping.”

“Probably looking out the window.”

“Shitting! Eating! That’s all they do. They shit and eat!”

But I regain my composure because it’s just a kid and kids are repetitive (oh sure, they shit and eat but they also talk. Talking is probably why you never hear about the crazy kid lady down the street). He asks what they’re doing again and this time I answer,

“Well, Brutus is doing my taxes and Bunda is editing a video project for me.”

He looks at me for a moment, nods and says,

“What’s the video of?”

Later I’m out at the truck sipping a beer while emptying the cooler of water. I’m not thinking of nor concerned about anything, I’m just watching the water flow down the driveway, when I hear my name being called.

I don’t know why someone is calling for me (they think I’m a useless buffoon, after all). I say yeah or something to let them know I’m still alive and doing nothing problematic when I hear the little girl, who’s been watching me out the window with her brother, say,

“He’s outside making the truck pee.”


7 responses to “Visiting

  1. “What’s the video of?” Ha ha ha ha.

  2. Chris:

    Isn’t that all you do is shit and eat?


  3. I also swear. Come on, Irish, you’ve seen me do all three at the same time.

  4. My son would have absolutely asked what the video was of. If he was feeling frisky he’d ask to be in it.

  5. Was it a video of other cats eating and shitting?

  6. I’ll bet the video was French and had sub-titles.

  7. hahaha to the comments. Y’all are insane. (and I would know)

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