Ecards Of The Week

Thanks for our little roll in the hay
But there’s something I gotta say
Maybe it’s time for your yearly check-up
So make an appointment to get in the stirrups

Not for a second am I suggesting anyone of you needs this service but I have to point out that you can anonymously send ecards telling someone they may have drippy dick, pusy pussy or worse.

I, uh, hmmm. All I can say is, what would your personal message be?

I was the one that was in your bum
My dick wasn’t big but it wasn’t a thumb
I just want to say before it goes numb
Go pick up some pills and then swallow some


6 responses to “Ecards Of The Week

  1. You had a need
    I filled it with seed
    Now you may glow
    So you’d better go

  2. I once wrote a KMA poem but Hallmark was not interested:

    No more will you feel my breath on your thigh
    nor the warmth of my lips as we kiss.
    A teasing of tongues…
    while hair falling softly
    caressing my breasts, you’ll too miss.

    You have shredded my heart and crushed all my dreams
    I am hollow and void of emotion.
    The day will soon come
    when you search for my love.
    What you’ll find is old porn and some lotion.

  3. I was going to try, but I just can’t compete with any of these. I do have to say that I love STD Dave’s name.

  4. I’m just hoping that’s just his non de smut and not a true description.

    I interviewed at Hallmark years ago and, although the writers in the bullpen liked my shit, the woman who would have been my boss hated me before she laid eyes on me.

    I was warned but figured I could charm her. I am often mistaken about my personal charm level.

    I knew it within ten seconds (I think her saying, “I find you rather tasteless.” clued me in) so didn’t care. I got home and a week or so later there was a check from them for something like $2.56. I figured it was for postage but I framed it and hung it over my desk. Whenever I’d get a little cocky I’d take a look at it and remind myself that’s what Hallmark thought I was worth.

    I think I still have the check but damned if I know where it is.

  5. Your check was small, without a doubt;
    And from its frame, I took it out.
    The bank-teller laughed when I signed your name,
    But gave me cash all the same.
    I got totally wasted that night at the bar
    Because I also had your Master-Card!
    I raised my glass and gave you a toast,
    For being a generous and unknowing host!

  6. That was criminal, not dirty.

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