I’m Voting Republican!

http://imvotingrepublican.com/

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23 responses to “I’m Voting Republican!

  1. I’m changing my mind already! I knew he was a McCainiac!

  2. “Women can’t be trusted to make decisions about their own bodies. Never, ever, ever.”

    Them’s fightin’ words!

  3. I’m voting Republican because I’ve been certified as Insane. Also, I’m Asleep and I believe in the dream of the Empire !

  4. Shhhh, everyone! Crazy Harvey’s sleeping and dreaming of a carpet company!

  5. Jimmy Lee Richardson

    Is this a joke?

  6. EVERYONE! Come on, calm down. I know what you’re thinking and, of course, I agree, Jimmy Lee here has a small right parahippocampal gyrus but that doesn’t mean I’m going to pick on him.

    It’s what I’ve trained you for!

  7. Socially everyone is so politically correct and afraid to offend others; if someone is short the PC term is Vertically Challenged, and so on. Is it right or fair to label someone “Right Parahippocampal Gyrus Challenged” just because they don’t get one joke? Let’s give the guy a chance to acclimate to B&G and if this sort of thing remains beyond his ken, then I say we blast him and send him Jessica’s e-mail address, ’cause that could be a match made in heaven!

  8. Since when did this become a computer dating service?

    And since when do we give cute humorless tight-asses any slack?

    Enquiring minds want to know!

  9. Your video has got me all confused. I’m not sure how to vote now … is Pat Paulsen a Republican?

    What? He’s DEAD!?

  10. Yes, David, he is. But, you can also throw your support behind Dave Barry!

    http://tinyurl.com/39ggdu

  11. Jimmy Lee Richardson

    You don’t have to be a rude asshole! Okay, I get it, it’s supposed to be a joke but I didn’t laugh so it’s not to me. So go fuck yourselfs.

  12. Jimmy Lee,
    You know, there are only three types of people in the world, morons, assholes, and people you want to hang out with. I’m fortunate to get more of the latter around here. So, because of that, I must ask for clarification.

    Could you explain, monosyllabically if you must, who and what was rude? I’m positive neither myself, The Beckster (as she’s called on the professional titty twisting tour), or Soup (as she’s called because hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia is so difficult to spell) said anything that could be defined as rude. I could not find anything that was either discourteous or impolite.

    Sure, I used you as fodder then seemingly pointed you out for ridicule but do you know what I actually did? Made it easy for people give you a pass. You didn’t get the joke, okay fine, comedy is subjective. But your question was ripe for spankings. We’re a sarcastic and unyielding group who thrive on thinning the herd. But what actually happened to you?

    Becky said to give you a pass unless, over time, you prove worthy of a Jessicaian smack down. And Soup? Mentioned you as a humorless tight ass. Sure, those things are, I agree, a little inside for you, but each of us were doing callbacks to other jokes. This is a site filled with wise asses just waiting to kick the comedy ball for awhile. If it falls on your lap and you’re unwilling or unable to play, please, don’t join in.

    But then again, if you can’t spot satire maybe I’m incapable of spotting rudeness. Everyone has a blind spot I guess.

  13. Jimmy Lee has left the building. He said his parahippocampus was sore. That’s where the brain registers comedy and is where the laughter signal originates. Except in republicans it sends the anger signal. Go fucking figure.

  14. Pure-bred Republicans have no right sided parahippocampus gyrus at all, and this is believed to have occurred through evolution, (ironically in spite of the fact that the majority of them tout the Creationism Theory as if it were indeed fact), through non-usage, which caused gradual elimination of this section of cerebellar tissue. When two pure blooded republicans procreate and produce “pure” offspring the same thing happens; however, when a Republican is mated with a Liberal, an Independent, or a Democrat there is a 25% chance that there will be no right sided parahippocampal gyrus, 25% chance that there will be a fully developed and totally functional one, and 50% chance that there will be only a rudimentary one that does not function all the time, if at all. This is the scientific explanation for why there are so fuckin’ many humorless tight-asses in the world today.

    Jimmy Lee Richardson, stand up and be counted! And maybe get out there and find yourself a therapist who deals with your particular psychoses; one who specializes in anger management, low self esteem and control issues. You need help, and you need it bad.

  15. @B&G–please stop referring to me as “she” and “her”–I’ve completed my 6 months of hormone treatments and my surgery is scheduled for July, and then I hope to finally be the man that I’ve always known I was deep inside.

    @Jimmy Lee–You misspelled “yourselves” when you asked us to go fuck ourselves. When converting the singular self to the plural, the “f “becomes a “v”, and add an “es”. Maybe an easier way for you to remember it is by memorizing the words calf (singular for young cow), and calves (plural form of the same word). I throw this example out for you because judging from your response to this site and its content, a cow is the only creature with which you are fit to have intercourse. Unless you want to go fuck your self.

  16. “And Soup? Mentioned you as a humorless tight ass. ”
    … and being the class perv, I wanted to see if you really have a tight ass.

  17. This lady is, too!

    (I use the term loosely.)

  18. betme, if you’d like to assist in developing the fine site,

    http://www.humorlesstightass.com

    … it could be a beautful friendship.

    (I was challenged by the registrars when I picked that name — they wanted to be sure I wouldn’t be posting porn. Called me to ask what would go there … )

  19. “… it could be a beautiful friendship.”

    One might need to define beautiful and friendship.

    I am curiously interested. Giving fair warning; I seldom know when I have crossed the sanity line… and would need a full time censor.

    I love the site name but I also think it would be a great name for a porn site. 😀

    (Sorry for taking this up on you site, Chris… As you can see, I also lack in manners)

  20. Trust me, JudyH is an awesome and beautiful friend to have. She made dish towels for us with Brutus’ face on them. She knows just what people want!

    No problem, take up anything around here. As far as manners, we don’t need no stinkin’ manners.

  21. betme, it was a paraphrase of a line at the end of “Casablanca” (“beautiful friendship,” not “humorless tight-ass,” though the latter could have been said to describe Major Strasser).

    And, Chris — pshaw.

    (I liked your movie reference, too.)

  22. betme– If you really are the class perve, you would be perfect for http://www.humorlesstightass.com !

    B&G is in charge of humor and human nature subjects; I do scientific/medical references, and we both handle sarcasm, but we really do need some one to do the perverted but funny stuff.

    Seriously, the site was a Christmas present from a friend who has been my “Best Friend Since Kindergarten”!! (Yes, I know quotations AND capitals are not proper, but in this case…), and nothing has been done. It is sadly in need of attention, but BC is busy and I don’t know how to proceed.

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