Out Of Order

Yesterday there was a crash heard throughout the building. Having been through this before, I thought someone crashed into the building. I was wrong.

So, because the sound had to come from somewhere and an idiot was using the elevator, I ran in that direction. But, although he was quite confused by the apparatus, nothing in his load dislodged enough to make that sound.

Oh well, I think, I know they’re blasting up the street, could have been a heavier than usual blast load. I go back to chasing idiots while trying to keep them as far away from me as possible. Quite the quandary is my life.

Awhile later I have to open an overhead door and hear a rather unusual sound. I turn back and now know the sound I heard earlier, for some reason, came from the overhead door.

Before I can get to the shutdown button, a guy places his foot on the door and pushes it. The sound was that of a car accident. I shut the door down, already fully open and go out to assess the damage. The guy looks at me with all the authority of someone who knows and says,

“A little WD-40 and it’ll be fine.”

Huh, I think to myself, so now WD-40 will put tension in obviously slackened cables. I have to wait for him to finish with the door to complete my inspection sure it’s not going to be very good. When I can manually pull the door down I find out that it is, in fact, not very good. The take up spring, a very large spring I will add, has snapped.

Okay, make a phone call and shut the door down. What I did to officially make people aware the door is inoperable is place a sign that read: ‘Out Of Order. Use Other Doors’ on the door.

Things like this, door comes off hinges, electrical problems, etc. have happened in the past and this sign has worked out just fine. But, lest we forget, we are in the throes of the end of intelligence, I had a sinking feeling something will go wrong.

It took less than ten minutes for that prediction to come to volition.

“Hey, I parked at door three.” Three, in case you are unaware, is the out of service door. “It says it doesn’t work. What am I going to do?”

Sometimes it’s not worth the effort to point out a problem then give a solution.

“You saw the sign, right?” He nods. “Go out, read it again and see if you can find out what you should do.”

Being near the end of the day I figured I wouldn’t waste the next step so would do it in the morning. Which I did. First thing, I tied bright yellow caution tape around the bent and scared safety poles we’ve placed deep into the ground on both sides of the door.

And, guess what? Yep, the first person to pull in today snapped the tape from the poles.

Sometimes it’s not worth using double knots.

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13 responses to “Out Of Order

  1. justifiable homicide, man, justifiable homicide. no jury would ever convict.

  2. You need a new sign on the door:

    β€œThe purpose of this door is not for entrance, but merely for the befuddling of those lacking in rationalization skills. Perpetrators will be duct taped to the pole as a warning to others who are equally challenged at the intellectual level of grasshoppers.”

  3. Reminds me of the time I got paint on myself at work putting up a ‘Wet Paint’ sign πŸ™‚

  4. Reminds me of a story about The Doors !

    But, my mind has an “Out Of Order” sign on it !

  5. Reminds me of the time I crushed my hand in the pull-rope of an overhead door. {insert ‘traumatized’ smiley here}

    …and the time(s) I had to deal with idiots.

  6. all you of earth are idiots.

  7. The Large Forehead Contingent of the B.F. Skinner Department at MIT called and they want you to send over the guy who parked in front of door #3 for some questions. Just some questions. Maybe a maze or two, but mostly some questions. Well, actually maybe a little electro-shock therapy and medication, but mostly questions.

  8. What’s the difference between WD-40 and KY?

  9. One’s oil the other a state.

  10. @soup: one’s toil, the other a date.

    No, seriously: i think the difference is in the character of the wink

  11. When one door closes… another one opens and then it’s hit by a truck. One of life’s little quirks…as the planet whizzes its way through the universe.

  12. Or is the planet whizzing ON the universe?

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