Yes, I’m Dyslexic!

I’ve received some emails asking if, as I mentioned in ‘Fanatic’, I’m really dyslexic. What does this tell you?

Dyslexic’s of the world, untie!

How many times have we heard that ‘Oh so funny’ ‘joke’ in our lives? More times than you can shake a shtick at, I’m sure.

How many times have we been embarrassed because we don’t understand why that ‘Toys R Us’ logo is so damn funny?

How many times have we been rear-ended at that octagonal red sign because we can’t find the guy who’s supposed to be there selling ‘Pots’?

It’s time for the world to know that dyslexia is no laughing mattre!

Tell ’em you’re dyslexic not analphabetic! You know all the letters sometimes you just don’t agree with their placement!

Come on! Join us! Let the world know you’re proud! You’re loud! You have problems spelling shroud!

If you’re not dyslexic you know someone who is so wear our badge of honor proudly as you help ease the disease!

dys.jpg

 http://www.cafepress.com/boundandgags.24337014

100% of the proceeds from the sales of our shirts goes directly into the pocket of the guy who wrote the bit. Not one thin dime will go to help any dyslexic but him. But he has been known to buy rounds for his drinkin’ buddies! So, purchase with abandon! He’s parched, sober and his friends are broke!

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7 responses to “Yes, I’m Dyslexic!

  1. I want to order that T-shirt for my 19yr old son. But he has not reached the stage where he can laugh about it … YET.

  2. As odd as it is, I credit it with much of my vocabulary and wordplay. Because I see things wrong it often leads to the funny. Hence, the ‘not sob’ line in ‘Fanatic.’ That was an accident in my head.

    As a kid, I read the dictionary in an attempt to learn as many words as possible. That way, when something didn’t look right, I’d have a shot at comprehending what was going on.

    The worst time for me is in stores. Grocery stores are a nightmare. So I’m usually only sent to get things I know the placement of. I mentioned recently that the worst time is when stores relocate items.

    During those time I can be found standing in front of what used to be bread staring and sweating.

    Good luck with your son. I came up when you were called a slow reader. I understood what I was reading (thank you, Mr. Webster!) but it took me longer to get there. I had a teacher who would make me read in front of the class as punishment. So I’d read slower.

    Ufck ehr!

  3. Those of us who are lucky enough to have the letters present themselves in a rational manner cannot even fathom what a nightmare you must face.

    My son was also labeled as slow until a smart teacher started asking questions when he was in the 3rd grade.

    I was baffled trying to figure out why he was having such a hard time reading. I knew he wasn’t ‘slow’ as his speach, math and motor skills were sharp.

    He is doing quite well in his freshman year in college… but, it is because he studies his butt off. (and he has a sweetheart who helps him read through assignments)

    Are you left handed? I read somewhere that the percentage of those with dyslexia is higher with southpaws.

    I agree with you on your teacher… Ufck ehr!

  4. > Those of us who are lucky enough to have the letters
    > present themselves in a rational manner cannot even
    > fathom what a nightmare you must face.
    I was in a military hospital with a throat injury (hit with a hockey puck) when guys were coming back from Viet Nam with pieces missing. Yeah, sure, I couldn’t talk for most of a year and singing was over but I still had all my pieces.

    The guys in the beds next to me had ravaged bodies, bullet wounds, and worse. I got hurt playing a game. Ever since then I’ve always known, no matter what, someone has it worse.

    I’ll agree that it’s a weird thing to have but it’s all I’ve ever known. It’s not like I woke up in the hospital with a doctor putting sixty stitches into my face (I know because I’ve had that experience). It’s my normal day. I’ve learned tricks to make life easier and go with the flow. When I see it getting out of control I just take a step back.

    > My son was also labeled as slow until a smart teacher
    > started asking questions when he was in the 3rd grade.
    I wasn’t diagnosed until college. And then it was a math teacher who figured something was wrong. I was transposing numbers and she saw a pattern. I went to a doctor and ta da!

    I had workarounds (just another opponent to counter) so made it easy to go undiagnosed. I was offered scholarships to very good schools (they were all for tennis but still) so I must have figured something out.

    > I was baffled trying to figure out why he was having
    > such a hard time reading. I knew he wasn’t ’slow’ as
    > his speech, math and motor skills were sharp.
    It is one that can get missed quite easily. I’m glad you found out for his sake.

    > He is doing quite well in his freshman year in college…
    > but, it is because he studies his but off.
    It does give you a good work ethic.

    > (and he has a sweetheart who helps him read through
    > assignments)
    Hahahahahahahha. Oh sure, that helps!

    > Are you left handed? I read somewhere that the
    > percentage of those with dyslexia is higher with
    > southpaws.
    Yep. I love when people spin their ‘left-handed people are. . .’ things on me. Not about this but those, ‘You know, left-handed people are smart/creative/better looking. . .’ things. I’m not saying they’re not true, but you know me, I gotta twist ’em.

    “Yeah,” I always answer. “And we’re more prone to suicide, most likely to be serial killers and have a higher percentage of dying in an accident.”

    That usually puts their ‘Left-handed Bonding Club’ recruitment to an end.

    My first grade teacher (in the public school system) used to hit me, take that horse leg of a pencil out of my left-hand, call me the devil, and place it in my right hand. I also had a nun tell me I was the devil because of it. I thought that was cool. After all, with all those pious bastards clogging up the good clouds in heaven, doesn’t it sound like an annoying place?

  5. I got so distracted by the fascinating conversation between you and BetMe that I almost forgot about the post.

    Nice post. I like the t-shirt.

    What an interesting life you’ve had! Oh, and have you seen that uplifting study that says we lefties have a shorter life span than right-handed people (by nine years or so)? I’m just going to stop doing things with my hands when I get old. Then I’ll be no-handed, and I’ll get a few extra years tacked back on to my life.

  6. Yeah, the dying early thing is probably why I never smoked. I figured I had enough going against me.

    Good luck with the platypus plan. Makes much more sense to me than eating sensibly and exercising.

  7. “Yeah,” I always answer. “And we’re more prone to suicide, most likely to be serial killers and have a higher percentage of dying in an accident.”

    OK, then what will be my excuse? Seriously, I have always been jealous of lefties and was excited to see that one of my sons was blessed. That comes from my obsession (previously undisclosed) about sports. As you know, the best athletes are lefties and I wanted my sons to be able to bat left and screw with pitchers.

    I love your take on life. It is nice to be reminded that no matter what is wrong in our lives, there are others who have it so much worse.

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