Telepathy Driving School

 http://home.comcast.net/~boundandgags/tds.htm

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tdsyoutdssig

Are you having trouble finding a drivers education school that understands you already know all that ‘stuff’ so ‘book learning’ is a waste of your valuable time?

If so, the Telepathy Driving School is for you! By following the rules of the road and laws of physics ingrained in your head, you can accumulate the state requirements for a drivers license from the comfort of your home!

To get started call one of our ‘certified’ Telepathy Driving School instructors and in moments you’ll be the king or queen of the road just like you’ve always thought you were!

Call now and the Telepathy Driving School will answer that nagging question,

“Why DIDN’T the other driver know I was going to do that?”

COURSE OVERVIEW

The Telepathy Driving School knows you already know HOW to drive. It’s those other idiots beeping all the time that need help! We’re only here to guide you into your own ‘driving Zen’ where, if you’re not the only person on the road, you sure as hell should be!

The Telepathy Driving School course will cover such ‘knowledge enhancements’ as:

Turning Useless Turn Signals Into Flower Vases!

Horns Only Make It Difficult To Concentrate On Your Phone Conversations!

Use An Accent Light To Turn The Rearview Mirror Into A Useful Vanity For Personal Grooming!

Master Stopping In The Middle Of The Street To Check Out The DVD Playing In The Back Seat!

And many, other topics! So, let’s get started!

Check out the low costs and simpler tasks you’ll need to complete to become another satisfied graduate of the Telepathy Driving School!

COSTS

We’re glad to see you’re interested in perusing the patented ‘Drive By Thought’ theory of motor vehicle operation offered by the Telepathy Driving School.

Be warned, driving with disregard to life and limb isn’t for everyone. Ask yourself this simple question to see if you are, indeed, Telepathy Driving School material:

While on the phone, Flamunda relays information of vital importance that would force you to backtrack three blocks to attend to the sale, I mean, situation.

Due to this information you need to take a left across two lanes of traffic during a busy traffic time RIGHT NOW! Do you, without signaling, looking back or in any way checking the consequences of your action, cross those lanes while wondering what all the beeping’s about?

Good Answer! You, my friend, are definitely Telepathy Driving School material. So, click here to purchase your ‘course’ materials.

GRADUATE EXCLUSIVES!

Wow! You sure are excited about becoming the newest graduate of the Telepathy Driving School, aren’t you?

We understand your excitement! We were once proud graduates of this fine institution. We could regale you with hours of wonderful stories about the times we’ve tied up traffic just so we could fine that perfect radio station and so many others, but we know why you’re here!

You want to know about the Telepathy Driving School exclusives for our wonderful graduates.

Okay now, think hard. Are you thinking? Are you ‘getting’ our ‘vibe’? You do? You KNOW what the Telepathy Driving School Grad Exclusives are?

EXCELLENT!

Now all you have to do is complete the course to receive those wonderful Telepathy Driving School exclusives!

For those who didn’t ‘get’ our ‘vibe’, well, tough. Not everyone is ready to become a Telepathy Driving School graduate.

We’re a small but powerful institution and like it that way!

But don’t feel bad, you can become an ‘Associate’ member by telling the world you know we’re out there. Just click here and join us, if not in action than in spirit!

You’ll be glad you did!

SHOW YOUR SCHOOL SPIRIT

What better way to show the world you are not only an esteemed graduate of the Telepathy Driving School but also know it’s there fault for being less enlightened!

That’s right! Once you’ve passed the Telepathy Driving School course you’ll find it even easier to ignore the ‘laws’ the ‘government’ has ruthlessly implimented than you already do. And there is no better way to celebrate your newly certified dereliction than with a bumper sticker that trumpets that fact to all those screaming behind you!

Check out the Telepathy Driving School official swag, click here to get the item that best describes YOU to get yourself hooked up and tell the world,

“You should know where the fuck I’m going!”

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7 responses to “Telepathy Driving School

  1. Dang, I wish I would have seen this post before I went back to get a new license. (for the one I let lapse for several years)

    My instructor told me in a very heavy Asian accent, “You bad dwiva.”

    It took every thing I had to stop myself from saying, “You speak-a bad engwish.”

  2. Guess what I’m thinking right now.

    @ betme – http://www.engrish.com/

  3. I’ve been on the road with many of your graduates, and sometimes even in the car with one!

  4. Wendy ~ I have bookmarked that site! Today’s picture is a gem.

  5. @ betme- It is an excellent picture. I love Engrish. I worked in the copy room at a science library where people from all the world would come and study. They couldn’t take the books out, but they could get copies of them, and one time this Asian guy had me copy an entire book for him that he brought from home. It was an Engrish translation of an Asian book on picking up girls and it was called “How To Become A Sex Pig.” I’m totally serious, that was the name of the book.

  6. Great. There goes the follow up to my kids book: ‘Rex: The Green Recycling Bin.’

    And now that someone beat me to this I’m all out of ideas:

    http://www.newsweek.com/id/132240

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